Trials, Tribulations and Triumphs of being 3,473 Miles from Upton Park and West Ham United (Aug 2011 - May 2016)
I decided to Re-Post this as the show in Watchet has now closed. I'm hoping the World Cup Banter will continue via Nelson (below), but the commercial break is over and The Hammers will resume their rightful place front and centre. In view of his World Cup form just as well we're shot of Armero, no ?
Hope the show went well Mr P. I just said my bit about PA on t'other thread.I personally liked the guy and given what we had he added a wild card in with our predictablity, for good or ill. As said though we'll never know if we did right as he's now signed with Udinese so it's done.
3 World Cup matches is not the best way to judge a player Smitty and as you say he's done now anyway. Still not looking too shabby from what I've seen - but I think he's a bit too "free roaming" for Alfie T.
Oh, Alf would have had a coronary at some point ( Sign here please). But again as said he's the nearest we have to WHU in the WC.Makes you wonder what entertainin / attackin footie we got coming
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Your comment appeared twice Smitty, appeared twice Smiity so I deleted the second. "Attackin Footie" ? Don't hold your breath son !
Yeah it said Errer so I did it again again but obviously I was right first time.Not even really banking on Entertaining, attacking ? Be nice though wouldn't it.C'mon Alf, just once give it a go you might like it.
Can't get my head into "domestic" right now, but If I could chose some transfers from the WC they would include James Rodriguez (Colombia), Alexis Sanchez (chile), Arjen Robben (wanker), Pogba and a few Algerians and Iranians. oh and a mexican goalie
Might as well stay in The World Cup for now Filthy, not much happening on The Hammers front, although I do believe they're back at training later this week.
Just read that Tony Carr has been made a West Ham Ambassador and is stepping down as Head of The Academy - by mutual consent I have no idea ? Still after 40 years, it's probably time for a change and I wouldn't be surprised if he could do with a breather. I hope he's loyalty and hard work do not go recognised by us Hammers' fans - I salute you Mr Carr !
We've landed a Left Back, young Aaron Creswell from Ipswich - evidently he's just had a good season for them in The Championship, which is all I know except his young ! This could be promising....
yup sounds good, and being a tractor boy he'll be thrilled with moving up to the smoke
I think that might be "down to the smoke" no Filthy ? I'm thinking East Anglia's the lumpy bit on the right of the map.
Yeah seems to be a winner in the rough. Bit of PL experience and he could be alrightBFS's not going to like this sort of nonsense - but we will!!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBmWTyaRbl0Wall-OP!!
up? down? doesn't really matter...think I was going by "moving up to town" but I guess it is only that if you are located south of the town in question. Shall we continue this? No, didn't think so........
Just showing off to the East Anglia Hammers (Hammers & Scythes ?) Filthy, petty at best I know.
Looks like another one in the door, Diego Poyet (yes Gus's boy) . Adrian has posted a photo of him in Hammers (training ?) shirt - he can't go back to Charlton now, surely ? See Claret&Hugh website and try not to ponder on how the hell do we flog Diarra and Maiga ?
We seem to be doing alright so far. Not sure they'll all be winners, depending on how Alf plays em (or not). No obvious Hail Mary's though.For a lot less than we paid I would imagine.
Diego Poyet 19 years old, signed from Charlton - it's official !
DP in :) AD out :) All smiles today
Diarra Gone Smitty ? What did they do - pay him off ?
Looks like.The usual undisclosed sum.
Alou Goddbye - Sorry Couldn't Resist !
West Ham Till I Die, have the new badge and an unofficial poll, if anyone's interested - I voted. I don't mind it - I'd be delighted if it said East London, but that would probably defeat the object.
Re above - below is the new badge WHTID Link:https://www.westhamtillidie.com/posts/2014/07/10/poll-new-west-ham-crest-your-views-wanted
I've seen worse and they'd have been better off spending the money on a player butI don't think they give a rats what we think anyway.
Diego Poyet? I think that's a good move. I could be proved wrong but a good pedigree and he did well at Charlton.
Rated by their fans and The Charlton pweres that be didn't want him to go - both good signs. Now is he Tupper-proof ?
What are we going to do with all that yoof & testosterone running around nowadays,only Alf knows!!
Enner Valencia? Wel well well! How will BFS cope with 3 recognised strikers?
Have 2 of them watch Nolan and AC play would be my first guess Filthy. Lets see if we land him first, we have a habit of losing fish on hooks, especially when thet're noy small fry or old !
Any word on Ravel?
Well he's in training with us and there's been no naughty stories thus far, so looking alright for now I'd say. Played half a game in the comeback draw against Stevenage (that's right "comeback draw against Stevenage" - recently relegated to the 4th)). I think we've given 'Arry the brush off and it looks like he's spending his pocket money on Rio's wages
According to Claret&Hugh Winston "Crazy Horse" Reid has been offered 60K a week, so I reckon we will hear his response after the trip to New Zealand.
Subject to work permit the word everywhere is we have spent seroius moolah on Ecuadorian World Cup "star" striker Enner Valencia. Now is it my dodgy memory, or didn't we lose someone else during the work permit process ? I'd say landed but still on the hook - got to watch he don't wriggle off back into the drink !
Moved from WC thread -oopshttp://kumb.com/story.php?id=127665Think he'll go?Mauro Zarate: Velez to West Ham Utd (nominal)Cheikhou Kouyate: Anderlecht to West Ham Utd (£7m)Aaron Cresswell: Ipswich Town to West Ham Utd (£4m)Diego Poyet: Charlton Athletic to West Ham Utd (nominal)Enner Valencia: CF Pachua to West Ham Utd (£12m)( I think Enner is official now)Looks like we blew the wad but it seems we want more according to the net.Even if we get some more I don't think we did bad so far. Better than Sam's last few years spending.
Still waiting on the Work Permit for Valencia Smitty, but I agree it looks good on paper and I see they've let Henderson go too - need room for wages I would imagine.
I stand corrected, but we're in with a shout.http://shoot.co.uk/newcastle-eye-striker-return/and he can take Nolan with him, please please please.Henderson was never going to play so good luck to him wherever he goes.Better to be having fun and playing in the 3rd than sitting around here wasting your youth
Henderson to Palace, good luck to him.I think we did a bit better from them though.
I see the AC Circus is back in media mode - is he unfit ? injured ? both ? Once again it would appear that hard information is murky at best. He's not playing in New Zealand right now , because of injury - but why didn't he put in an appearance in the 2 friendlies before that ? Phrases like "hard working" and "determination" and "dedication" just don't spring to mind do they ?
http://www.sportsmole.co.uk/football/west-ham-united/news/carroll-returns-home-from-west-ham-tour_166579.htmlAnd I thought it was 2-1 :DCome on Barcodes get in there, buy 1 get 1 free.Few quid for AC and you can have Nolan.and it gets betterhttp://www.kumb.com/story.php?id=127684Anyone want to take a guess at the line up for Spuds right now ?
A.C out for 4 mths...ankle ligaments ..surgery tomorrow....Reid turns down £60k p/w 5 yr contract...what a pair of minges...
A.C= Always Crocked. Knackers yard calling?
How the hell did AC do his ankle ligaments ? He hasn't been training as he ? Maybe fell off one of his mates shoulders after a skinful ? It's just as well he's not a horse.Has there been an official announcement on Reid saying no Slippery ? Or are you ITK ?
Sullivan did a Q & a on his sons twitter for half hour yesterday A.P...straight from the horses mouth mate
#AskDS on twatter
Take your word on that Slippery as I've yet to be become a twit - although many would disagree. And just to add petrol to the bonfire there's some disagreement between Board and Manager over the future of Ravel. DO NOT SELL - loan of you have to BUT DO NOT SELL !
Never too early.Sam out, AC out , Nolan out. Anyone I missed?
You forgot the medical staff that assessed AC before we paid for him and if they're already gone, drag 'em back and sack 'em again !
Sullivan saying that the board want Ravel in their plans, but BFS does Not. ooh, err...not a very good situation going into a new season. One: Who's in charge here. Two: do they actually talk to each other.Starting from scratch again......
The type of discussion they should have been having at the end of last season when it at least looked like a new manager might be an option. Ravel is the Board's player - they paid for him and they'd be foolish to sell him right now Filthy. This is about more than Allardyce v.Morrison - it's about do we develop potential or not ? These owners cannot afford to buy guaranteed talent at today's market prices, so they have to borrow, make the occasional "lucky" buy and develop talent while staying in The Premiership. Only if and when someone (s?) with many millions to burn on a regular basis, buys all or part of the club will we be able to compete on the transfer market.
http://us.soccerway.com/news/2014/July/26/allardyce-hoping-to-keep-hold-of-morrison/Does he? Not what I heard. It's all a bit silly out there, make up what you want and print itNow AC's out again if we're still on Plan A it's back to CC again, which may or may notbe a bad thing. Trying to find a bright side we now have a couple of untesteds that are not going to work playing hoofball, but could work if we go the new entertainment route. Will Alf take a crash course in Footie B? Will Teddy S be able to step up?Will Vaz ever get a game? Ravel once in a while for a display of individual flash? Surprise appearance etc. If any of these are yes we might have a shot, maybe.If its Samball again get your tenners down on going down , after we play a couple the odds will shorten drastically.Gonna be excitin, or turgid more of the same.
Well it's all gone pear shaped "Down Under" Smitty, losing 3-1 to Sydney. I know it's only a warm up, but even Claret&Hugh is on record saying how dodgy we looked. I'd say the pressure is already on for Alf & Nobby and Sullivan's blood pressure on the rise and it aint even August !
"Thanks for all the positive messages from all you true fans and thanks to all you clowns with negative ones that are keeping me entertained!" ....Andy Carroll (Twatter)"Think he needs to learn when to keep 'Shtoom".. Slipperydoodah (IS SAITCH YER DADDY ..We buy sell & trade2014(re-posted) comments)
If Alf won't learn a new game it's all gone pear shaped period. Relegation territory & ALF gone by Xmas.Slim chance that the new guys up front will come through but Alf will just play 1 up top and we're screwed againSlippery, with the money he's got ( and getting for lying in bed in a flowery nightie)unfortunately he can mouth off all the way to the bank. He may as well just send us 2 fingers at least that would be straight up. Personally I don't think he gives a rats ass.
Mr. Smitty you're 'Bang On' concerning that big geordie 'James Hunt'...When we bought him last year after that loan period (the games he played in at that time he gave 100% and looked up for it chasing up and down the pitch and i thought 'aye aye we'll ave some of that'...we bought him and G & S have spunked their money on him...sods law..Sullivan's got the raving Hump about it..i personally think Gold dont have as much input as Sullivan..to me D.G. is like a mediator..with D.S. making all the decisions(90%) of them...probably wrong ..but the sooner Fatty Allarbuckle is given his marching orders the betterQuest t.v.channel on freeview here are showing the Shalke Tournament on the telly...dont know if Quest is on over in America...a heads up in case it is
Hey Slip, unfortunately all I get (Same as most of the fans) for being right is a nod from you telling me I'm right.If only we could vote the buggers out.Not sure it's on , but tbh not sure I could watch. I think I'll wait till we've got it all sorted, ready to roll, and watch em tonk Spuds Irrrrrrrrrooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnns!!:D
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/sam-allardyce-facing-west-ham-united-sack-before-the-premier-league-season--reports-9631134.htmlhttp://www.betting-directory.com/football/next-west-ham-manager-odds.phphttp://www.oddschecker.com/football/english/premier-league/next-manager-to-leave-postCan't find any odds on Sam actually being sacked but evens that he's the next one!Must be fun hanging around that lot right now.Like he really who plays or whether we win.He won't walk, they don't want to pay him off, he gets x million whether we stay or drop. All he has to do is sit there and listen to the boos for 57 hours. For that kind of money I could do that.
It's a Pre-Season Panto that's for sure ! "Oh no it's not" - "Oh yes it is" and plenty of boo hissing too ! Cast suggestions please...
we'll get to the cast later MR Pfound ithttp://www.racingpost.com/news/sport/big-sam-7-4-for-sack-before-season-starts/1695907/?Anyone in on that?
Don't mean to rain on your parade Smitty, but I just can't see it happening. Not before the season kicks off !
I'm just passing on the news, so not got my hopes up, but I think it's getting to the point of something's got to give, and cooler heads may not prevail.19 days to go!!
The odds on Sky Bet are now 10/11 Smitty - got your seat booked in Mother Proctor's Pews ?
This must be the "entertainment " we were promised.
Gotcha Smitty "a more attack minded approach" as in attacking each other !
Maybe it's a set up / lead in for the new Plan A- bugger the players. Short fat northern lump up top, being fed by juvenile twatter on t'wing, knockdowns / hoofbacks to aging midfield head of class ( pick one).Now THAT would be "ennertainmint", I'd pay to see that.Footie within their budget?
OOH Err Missus! You lot have been busy! I agree the problem seems to be that Gollivan don't want the expense of paying him off. False economy in my book. relegation would be far more costly, especially with a move imminent. Just don't bring in Scolari!Things aren't as bad on the field as they seem right now( rreally!- they could change very quickly)Is the Teddy Boy working yet? Unfortunately I think he could easily just be a 'yes boy" to BFS.
I'd be surprised if Allarbuckle is still our manager at the start of the season...private rift between B.F.S and G & S became a very public one today when Goldilocks favourited a question asked to him on twatter about BFS getting the old 'heave ho'.
Wotcha Filthy, yes the Circus has most definitely "come to town" and being as they're on the road - Germany next, I'm not sure that Teddy Boy has anything to do. I'm thinking he's only working when we're at home and I see they've given Julian Dicks the job of minding the Ladies Team (someone's thinking).
Slippery, Happiness Hammer is claiming that he pushed the wrong button and that his champagne glass runs over with apologies !
http://kumb.com/news.phpGood news - we hope?Attackin' entertainin' here we come?Gets the silliest barnet award for sure.
Work permit granted and Enner Valencia is a Hammer, here's hoping he can nail us some goals . Come On You Irons !
Beat Ya!!!Gotta be quick with good news, don't happen much :)
Yur faster draw acknowledged Smitty. One of the few consistencies in football over the years, has been the professional player's ability to present a seemingly limitless supply of dodgy barnets ! Not matter what the mode of the times might be, you can bet your bottom dollar that there will always be a footballer in the running for Latest Worst Hairstyle !
Yeah, I've sorta got used to a somewhat dubious variety, most I can take or leave as a sort of conforming nonconformist statement. This one had me beat though, not sure if I should be impressed- but on second reflection Nah, still stupid.
A.P Goldilocks Champagne glass runneth over with Pomagne apologies
"Samuel Eto’o has been offered to West Ham United but his wage demands of £100,000 per week appear to be a stumbling block for Sam Allardyce’s side, according to the Daily Mail."Stumbling Block!!?? 100k ? If they paid that there would be a riotI think they've been drinking all that runneth over cheapo champers
Eto's willing to take that much of a drop from his regular Chelski wages ?
So it says, but bargain for Chelski, ( 50% off) ain't much of one for us.That's a lot of money to sit on the bench when t'lump feels better.Along with the other front men we've bought who'll be doing the same as long as Alf's there.
As an observation before I ride off into the sunset for a few days regarding the striker hunt now LimpoLumpo's out. Let's assume Fat Sam doesn't know anything else so we'll get CC in again with various and sundry excuses for the other guys. We'll get creamed and they'll have to bite the pocket and GHTFOH.When he's gone I personally think if we let these guys run about as they can, might even get to see some Ravel when he's in the mood,we could be in good shape.Few games to the bad but that ain't nothing new.Anyone agree / disagree?
http://sport.news.am/eng/news/44515/west-ham-midfielder-arrested-for-assaulting-2-women.htmlMorrisson up to his old tricks
Yup, I saw that...doesn't bode well
Looks like Ravel could well be trotting out for a nick team. I sincerely hope not, but if charged and found guilty, can't see how he won't get banged up !
Change that to just "if found guilty", as he's been charged and refused bail. Should have heeded the words of the sage John Cooper Clark " Can't go back to Salford - the cops have got me marked !".
Back to the "In Tray" we've landed Arsenal's Carl Jenkinson on a season long loan. He's 22 year old right back, who is supposed to be quite good at going forward lets just hope he doesn't repeat his Gooner's debut where he scored an own goal from the half way line - no small achievement !
A.P Judging by the way West Ham played in the Shalke 04 tournament on Saturday and sunday ..you will only have to post a blank piece of paper each week as the latest Saitch (i dont know if you saw or not) but they were RUBBISH..(the old song we used to sing at West Ham when an opposing player was on the deck injured) comes to mind.."Bring on the dustbin"On a lighter note i see Allarbuckle got a pint of beer slung over him by West Ham fans outside the stadium in Germany after the game when he started laughing at them for asking him 'When are we gonna start playing attacking football'... he soon stopped laughing
It's a sad state of affairs when the best bit of pre-season news is that one of your players finally gets bail Slippery. Regarding the "beer shampoo" I'd say "on a lighter Ale note" although being Gernany it was probably lager !
Any news on Jenkinson's injury? "Bring on the dustbin"? I remember that one, a classic, as is a beer wash for the fat one. By all accounts they were dire in Germany. Pull the trigger NOW!
Last I heard it was a hamstring - classic West Ham - new signing injured on debut. As for Faithful vs.Tupper, what did The Brady Bunch expect ? Surely it's just a matter of time ? I wonder if he's submitted his dry cleaning bill, or does Mrs Tupper scrub it up herself using one of those long bars of soap you cut pieces off of ?
Karen Brady running for Mayor? or Lord? or Mp? How would her departure impact the Gollivan? Can the Mayor of London have a vote on who's the manager of WHU?
Chaps, I just wanted to point out here that Kosmo has generously given over one of his works to be auctioned to raise funds for the Thames Ironworks Heritage Trust. Bidding is currently at £300 and ends this weekend. You can see it here, along with other auction items including a brand new 2014/15 West Ham shirt signed by the squad and still at a silly 99p on ebay!http://kumb.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=154327
Filthy, I'm thinking Madam Brady (what do they call a Lord-ess ?) will go for the Mayor - it strikes me as the most publicity for work done. I'm also thinking that her plan might be that a run for Mayor might coincide nicely with the sale of West Ham - surely Tiny and Happiness's end game !
Gavin, I read a report from one of the rowers on KUMB, what was it in the end 42 miles or something ? More than once round The Serpentine and I'm cream crackered ! Hats off to all involved.
Ravel's been back to court, where his ex has said that he threatened to throw acid in her face, blow up her home and kill her. I know it's no place for a joke. but if she's not lying surely anyone of those would have put his point across ! He's due back for a preliminary hearing Monday Aug 28th.In the meantime he's been photographed with his mates in a Gooners home shirt - as a mate of mine recently pointed out "he does work at it that lad " !
Oh dear, he's not very nice is he. Still, in and out of the Scrubs,and he'd still play more often than AC.Speaking of whom, I hear the Crouchasourus is suggested as an alternative. Not very imaginative in my book. As for Brady I'm sure she'll do what's right for herself as will the partners. 99p for a signed home shirt!! a harsh reality!
OO-ER- Away for a few days and .............It's impressive that Ravel can find the self destruct button with such alarming regularityYou can take the boy out of...............add your own ending.Brady for Queen? With all that what's he gonna do here? Swing in once a month to pick up her check and tell us what's what, then go off and do some real self promoting.Harry going to take Mo? Why are we chasing an AC replacement? Didn't we just buy a couple of "strikers"? and we've still got CC. ( I'd be on my bike if I were him, no respect shown)Nice move by Jenkinson , but I'm not surprisedAnyone like to predict a Spuds line up, I don't have a clue. With a week or so to go we could be deeper in it.Anyone think Vaz will ever get a game?
A lot of ?'s there Smitty - Spuds line up no idea, but Jenkinson's banjoed and Valencia may not be match fit - I do however predict Nobby Nolan to start. By all accounts we're chasing an AC replacement, like Filthy I hope it's not Crouchadinho - how old is he now anyway ? whatevr Brady gets up to it will be the same as it is now Nothing To Do With Football ! Oh and I forgot Vaz will get a game, just not sure when and your boy Elliot Lee has banged nine in his pre-season !
Last I looked Filthy the shirt was up to 36 nicker - hardly big time, but better than 99P !
Just had another gander 77 quid and two days to go !
Valencia knows how to say the right things! going for a top 4 finish, delighted to be playing at the olympic stadium next year. Fully fit in a week to 10 days. the club assured him they were going for a European qualifying position in the table.Bad translation? or just gullible? either way it is refreshing after all the doom.
After Valencia's optimism I reckon the shirt has gotta be worth more than a ton.
Yeah and there's a ton more, but all will be revealed by the fullness of Sam.Think you might be right about Nobby.So we get Crouchy for far too many bobs, off ofter 45 mins, cream crackered , CC on, scores and we have to get a bigger bench.Don't forget when QK comes in she does give everyone a handbaggin before she leaves, so sorta footielike.Not sure you're right about Vaz, bit unpredictable for Sam. He might score with an unscheduled move.Not sure he's my boy but Lee could score every 10 minutes on the minute and Sam wouldn't play him unless he could do it on stiltsSo far medium sized Rah!! from me for the start of the season
Well there's another warm up today, so lets see if and how any of the new recruits do ?
Cup Winners :D !!!Let's hope it's a trend.
By all accounts a vast improvement on what's been served up lately and the winner scored by a 17 year old I don't think I've ever heard of Resse Burke (laid on by Elliot Lee no less).
Maybe Teddy made the trip, and earned his few bob for this week?I've never heard of him either. Both him and Lee on the pitch ? Think we're likely to see this again in the coming weeks?
far better to play them than buy in Crouch! Somehow doubt it will happen though.
I'm all for it, from what little I saw they're ready for blood. Go to it I say.But I think you're right Filthy.But begs the question, why bother once if it's not gonna happen again?
Could be pressure Smitty ? Alf tries to appease the owners, supporters, young players Uncle Tom Cobbley (Cobbly ?) And All in a match where there are no points at stake. Still if Burke and Lee are smart they'll hang tough and wait for the new manager.
And didn't that go well, the silly buggers scored!!So now what?Does he stay Sam and go ? Or does he go with the new and improved Sam and stay?I don't think they're going anywhere, ( maybe on a loan) anytime soon.All will be ravelled 6 days from now. COYI!!!!!
Not sure we can take the line up against Spuds as being definitive Smitty, despite last season's jamboree of wins they're still very serious opposition - some caution is required, but we still need to hit them on the break !
Filthy, that shirt went for 108 quid in the end - better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick at least.
well can now spend 8Million on Connor Wickham then! Think I'd rather not!
Wickham does seem like another "risky" purchase, but looking at the prices being paid by those with serious intentions, "risky" or in "decline" is all we can afford . Makes the Brady Bunch's reluctance to pay off Tupper sillier and sillier - still Tories have always had a thing about penny pinching !
Ravel resumes training on Friday, so I think it safe to say that he won't be playing against Spuds - hard to stay match fit when your banged up in Salford !
But just think of the fun/confusion if he ran him and Eliott Lee and maybe a Burke out for at least a taster. That would prove what a canny modern chap Alf is and Oh how he'd laugh when it goes pear shaped. Or how we would if they scored.The potential for entertainment is almost unlimited.
Just heard we have Sheffield United at home in the League Cup - wish I could be on Green Street for that one !
loads o fun there! Did you see that Millwall fans were chanting about Jimmy Saville at Leeds fans last week? Bad taste but amusing.
Millwall fans chanting in bad taste Filthy ? Well I never. Hopefully the Upton Park faithful will be in fine voice and good humour when Sheffield United come a knocking !
I see we've just signed Senegalese striker Diafra Sakho from France. I know practically nothing about him except he's from the second tier of French football, so here's hoping he's a bit of a "find" - we're certainly due one.
Spuds telling both sets of fans to behave and not use the Y word. Sakho? I'm ignorant, but glad he isn't another English giant!